Breakup

How to Quickly Get Rid of Your Friends that Suck

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At some point in our lives we find ourselves questioning the quality of our group of close friends. Perhaps you’ve been friends since high school and you’ve just held on even though things aren’t a great fit, or maybe you’ve picked them up recently after a friendly introduction in the bathroom bar (post-jagger bomb shot of course).

Whatever the reason, we all have those one or two (or maybe even a handful for you eager beavers out there) friends that we really don’t know why we’re still friends with. Yet, we continue the friendship and pretend as if things are fine.

Some of these friendships are harmless, and at times even helpful. There are others though, that simmer under the surface just waiting to pop up and shake the foundation of your once pleasant lifestyle.

How do you determine the difference?  Why, with this list of course:

Top 5 Friend Personality Types:

#1: The Single Clinger

This is usually one of those single friends that focuses on the negative attributes of being single. Whether it’s another “Lonely Friday night with the cat “LOL #catcuddles” Instagram post, or 35 Snapchats to you of dinner with the parents including “Dinner at the parents house, so glad I get food made for me #chicken”, they always seem to fish for some sort of affirmation that their life isn’t completely devoid of excitement and meaning.

It doesn’t matter if they’re talking about pets or parents or friends…. The undertone is always “I’m single and I’m lonely and my life sucks.”

Toss or Keep? These friends are good to keep around, as they are always there for you.  They are usually the most loyal in your times of need, and you are usually who they turn to for advice or.  However, if their Instagram or Snapchat stories get to be too much, it’s your job to set them straight.

#2: The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Obsessed

These are the friends that find a girlfriend/boyfriend and all of a sudden are gone from your life.  They only reach out to you when either a) a fight breaks out and they need you to reaffirm their position or b) they are becoming bored and need their girl time/ boy time.

Toss or Keep? Problem is, you will likely become one of these one day, and you will want your friends to be there in your time of need.  Sucking it up now and taking one for the team will only help you later.

#3 The Quiet Listener

These friends are the best friends.  They will listen to you whenever you have problems, and will wait for you to ask them about their own.  If you don’t reach out to hang out with them they will likely never text you, but as soon as you reach out they are there.

Toss or Keep?  Never let this one go – they wont be around all the time, but when they are, they are extremely valuable.

#4: The Alcoholic

This is that friend that you know will always be up for a good party.  Every time you go out and every conversation you have, drinking is involved.

You don’t know them on a personal level but when you think about them in general you feel a positive vibe about them. They are always up for a good time.

Toss or Keep? Toss these friends.  They often bring a lot of drama, and talk to you about their life situations asking for advice.  Other than that, you don’t know each other on a personal level and only ever bond when drinking together.

#5: The Advice Giver

There is always that one friend that knows the solution to everything. You have a bad day and you just want to rant to them – and they come back with some solution to solve all your problems. WTF…

Toss or Keep? Keep this. Yes, this is annoying, but who’s fault is it?  They are obviously a good friend trying to help you out, and yes you have the right to rant to them.  However, if they offer advice that you don’t want it’s your responsibility to tell them that you really just need a shoulder to listen and not a sounding board.

Get Rid of Your Friends that Suck?

Most of us think we have friends that we just want to drop. In reality though, it’s good to think about those friends that are just annoying in the moment vs. those that really don’t contribute to our lives in general.

Like my writing style?  Check out 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single, available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

 

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single travel

Single Travel Perks

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I’m 27 and single.  I’ve had long term relationships in the past, however I came to the realization that while I loved them I couldn’t see myself marrying them and wasn’t keen on sticking in a long term relationship that I knew wasn’t going anywhere.

Upon announcing my singleness to people I find the most common reaction to be surprise that I haven’t “found someone”. Sometimes I get inquiries as to how I ended up single at 27, and even suggestions on where I can go to meet a new guy. The common theme seems to be that if you’re single there is something wrong with you.

I don’t take this view at all.  I love being single, and in my book 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to be Single I outline MANY reasons (101 to be exact) why being single is wonderful.  Not sharing my bed, not having to shave all the time, and not sharing my precious Ben N Jerry’s ice cream are a few of my faves.

My top reason, however, is that I get to travel wherever and whenever I want.  I have a full-time job, I live alone, and I have no one to answer to.  And, I LOVE to travel.

This year I went to Huatulco, Cancun, Seattle, Whistler, and Kamloops… and it’s only July!  I also have trips to Edmonton and Vegas coming up and am toying with the idea of jetting off to LA for a weekend soon.

Sometimes I travel with family, sometimes friends, and sometimes just by myself.  I love travelling alone and getting to learn more about myself and meet new people along the way.  Could I do that if I was in a long-term relationship or married with kids?  Probably not…. certainly not as easily.

I may not be single forever, but while I am single I’m certainly enjoying my freedom!

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

Follow me on Twitter @KarleenDee

Breakup Care Package

Staying Positive After a Breakup

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We’ve all gone through it – that post breakup slump. Where a big black cloud seems to come over your world and all of a sudden you’re encased in negativity and pessimism.

Thoughts of self doubt – “maybe I’m just not good enough for anyone”, fear – “what if I’m alone forever?” and rage – “why can’t he see what he’s missing out on!”, become all too familiar, and our happy-go-lucky selves slowly become grayed out….

These are all very normal thoughts.  All part of the process of working through feelings of pain of the experience.  Eventually we work through them and then gradually, or sometimes suddenly, we realize we’re starting to feel happy again.  We find our normal.

Sometimes when you’re in the slump it seems never ending.  But it does end, it always does.  Nothing lasts forever – not sadness, not happiness.  So, we just wait out the hard times and cherish the good ones.

If you have an awesome best friend they’ve probably already brought you a Break-Up Care Package.  However, there are things that you can do for yourself to help move this process along faster to get you out of your funk.

Here are my top 5 tips to a happy breakup recovery:

1. Get Some Rest

Breakups are emotional and stress out your body.  Your knee-jerk reaction may be to go out and party all night to forget whats-his-face, however all you’re doing is adding more stress on your already tired mind and body.  This is a good time to avoid too much alcohol and instead take care of #1: you.

2. Surround Yourself with Friends/Family

This is probably a time where you’re feeling alone and maybe vulnerable.  It’s easy to get stuck in your own head going over and over all the good times, bad times, the ups and downs and everything between.  It’s easier to get out of your head when there are people around you who care about you and can help you take your mind off things during this time.

3. Treat Yourself

Do things for yourself that make you happy, without guilt.  Go shopping and buy a new shirt, bake the whole roll of cookie dough, watch a whole season of your favorite show, or sit in that bubble bath for an hour with a good book (maybe 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single?!).  You know what makes you happy, so go ahead and indulge in those guilty pleasures because this is the time when you truly deserve them.

4. Exercise

Yeah, most of you probably hate me right now! Exercise is likely the last thing you want to do when you’re feeling low.  BUT if you get your butt up and go out there and do it, I guarantee you that it won’t be something you regret.  No one says “man I feel so gross after that workout”.  It doesn’t have to be something huge – even going to the gym and hitting the elliptical while rockin’ your favorite tunes is a huge energy booster.

5. Talk About it

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean dwell on every little thing about the relationship.  I’m referring to how you feel about it and how the experience impacted you.  It’s definitely much easier to just shut it out and pretend as though it never happened, but all that is doing is pushing that anger, hurt and resentment under the surface and those feelings are going to come up eventually.  It’s easier to talk about them now, so that they can come up and out and you can move on with your life.

Those are just the 5 that I’ve found work best for me.  Have others?  I’d love to hear them – please share in the comments below!

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getting over a breakup

The Ultimate Breakup Care Package

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So you’re friend has just gone through a breakup, and they are looking pretty down. Your once happy little Piglett seems to have grown a solemn dark cloud above their head, and their pink exterior has faded into a darkened Eeyor grey.

You watch as their world slows to a crawl. Day-to-day activities that they used to accomplish so easily (like getting out of bed), all of a sudden take extra effort.  They barely answer your calls and responses to your text messages dwindle to a single “k”.

So what are you supposed to do to get them out of this funk?  Well, how about making them a Breakup Care Package! Not just any package though, the Ultimate Breakup Care Package:

1. THEIR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE

Not a lot of it… (to avoid wallowing in drunken pain and calling the ex resulting in dramadramadrama), but a bottle of wine to share, or a 6 pack of their favorite lager to help lighten the mood!

If your friend is of the lady variety, try suggesting Sangria.  This fruity little number is super delightful – heck, even if your friend is a guy its hard to say no to alcohol and fruit.  Bonus points for throwing in a crazy straw.

2. THEIR FAVORITE FOOD

Food is the ultimate comfort! Especially favorite food.  Especially all their favorite food.  Sit them in front of a personal buffet of carby fatty meaty goodness to give their brain way too much to think about, and distract them from their troubles.  Feel sad or eat more bacon…. hmmm.

Just to be safe, probably good to bring a mix of sweets and savory – after that ooey gooey cheesy salty goodness the only logical choice is raw chocolate chip cookie dough covered in brownies and chocolate syrup.

3. A NO-ENERGY ACTIVITY

Your friend is probably in a pretty down mood, so it is likely that they don’t want to do anything or go anywhere.  However, there are lots of activities you can bring them to keep them occupied (and their mind off whats-their-face), where they don’t really have to do anything at all.

This could be watching a movie, painting nails, playing scratch-n-win (get a lot so they at least win one of them!), listening to their favorite music, or go old school and bring a board game. Heck, it may even give them a sense of nostalgia and pull them back to their young childhood days before the opposite sex came and ruined everything.

4. TICKETS TO AN EVENT OR MOVIE

Looking forward to some sort of event is a great pick-me-up.  You know what your friend likes, so be creative and seek out some tickets to their favorite band, or to a movie you know they’d be into.  You know, for when their face is a bit less puffy from crying.

5. 101 REASONS WHY ITS GREAT TO BE SINGLE

And of course, a dose of optimism and a change in perspective never hurts!  101 Reasons Why it’s Great to be Single presents an optimistic view of the single life.  Let your friend read up for themselves, or read it to them as they down their glass of Chardonnay!

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

Breakup Care Package

Its Great to Be Single

Have I left anything out?  If there’s something that you would include in your breakup package I’d love to hear it – leave your comments below!

Sports when you are single

Join All the Sports!

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When I am single I have a lot more time for extracurricular activities.  My week isn’t filled up with sitting in front of the TV with my significant other or going on dates.  I’m not saying those things are bad, I’m just saying that they take up quite a bit of time.

If I were to sit down and ask myself “do I want to join a sport a couple times a week, or spend that time watching TV”?  I would most definitely choose the sport.  However, for some reason when I am in a relationship I don’t ask myself what I want – I just sort of fall into the groove of the relationship.

I recently got really excited about this concept.  So excited that I joined a soccer team, a hiking club and a boot camp.  I already hit the gym quite frequently, gym time is solo.  I figured not only would these group fitness activities keep me fit, but I would also meet some pretty awesome people with the same interests.

Flying solo means I’m social and active – I’ll take it!  #itsgreattobesingle

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on AuthorhouseAmazon, and Barnes and Noble 

Single Woman

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be single

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Singleness has somehow become a word that carries with it a negative connotation, as if being single means there is something wrong with you. Comments such as “she’s such a lovely girl, I wonder why she hasn’t found a good man yet” are coupled with looks of pity and suggestions of how to meet someone.

Well, I’m here to tell you that the negative connotation of singleness is BS. We learn faster, discover ourselves more deeply, and are overall happier and more content with life when we are single than when we are in an unsuitable relationship with another human being. Over the past decade, I’ve had four long-term relationships; none of which lasted. While I loved them, none of those men were the one. I believe that there is someone out there—that is, a man that will make my heart pound with excitement and my hands clam up— and I will not settle for less than that.

During this time, I have embraced my singleness. I’ve discovered various reasons why, contrary to popular belief, it is truly great to be single. I am not lonely, I am not pining for affection, and I feel more alive than ever. I’m standing up for singleness, and I tell you, it feels great.

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on AuthorhouseAmazon, and Barnes and Noble 

#itsgreattobesingle

Single lady drinks

Happy Hump Day!

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Now that Valentine’s Day is over us singletons can go back to hitting on each other without the awkward topic of “so what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

The WORST is when you’ve been on a few dates and then Valentine’s comes along and threatens to throw you into a committed relationship before you really know the person.  It’s a LOVE day, and we just aren’t there yet – oh gawd, palms sweaty.

I’m sure the terms “I’m just gunna do me” was thrown around quite a bit this weekend.  Me?  I spent it with my lady friend getting tipsy and prancing around downtown like idiots commiserating about our lack of love.  Twas a great night.

I always thought it would be great to meet someone on V-day actually, just for the sake of being able to combine two holidays.  Seriously, between his birthday, your anniversary, Vday, Christmas, and other random celebrations that pop up out of nowhere, how am I supposed to keep coming up with amazing blow-you-away surprises (and money!).

But ANYWAYS, it’s over now and we can breathe a little easier for one more year.  Get back on that dating train.  Dating is great – you go out with some random individual you don’t know, and get to learn a little bit about their life.  Even if it doesn’t work out, you get some great conversation (and if you don’t, it’s still a great story to tell your friends).

#itsgreattobesingle

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on AuthorhouseAmazon, and Barnes and Noble