summer single

Top 15 Reasons to Be Single This Summer

dating, relationships

Single for the summer?  Pick up 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single for the complete list of why being single this summer is going to be simply amazing.

In the meantime, check out our Top 15 Reasons for Staying Single this Summer!

  1. Look Better: Being single means you have more time to hit the gym and get that beach-ready bod.
  2. Have More Time to Travel: No need to compare your schedule with your “other” – just grab a friend and take off!
  3. Save Some Coin: Summertime means warm weather and that means dates that don’t cost a fortune! Picnic on the beach? Yes please!
  4. No Sharing Your Ice Cream: Does this even need an explanation?? Not having to share your cookie dough double scoop should really be enough.
  5. Find Your Stuff Quickly: Summertime means getting home from work, grabbing your beach gear and sprinting back to your besties’ car to hit the beach before sun down. Being single means you don’t have someone moving your things around and causing unnecessary “where’s my suit” type question time-wasters.
  6. Take Advantage of Bonus Invites: Summertime means summertime events, and whenever anyone has a +1 you are always the #1 invite!
  7. Go on Guilt-free Adventures: No need to worry about disappointing your beau when you get invited onto that shirtless all-male speed boat. Sail away you single saucy broad!
  8. Belt it Out: There is an air of liberation when driving around solo in the summer and belting out your summertime tunes.  You just don’t have the same freedom and ridiculousness with your “other” in the car.
  9. Let it Hang Low: Although more accurate for those of the male variety, this still rings true for girls.  Being naked in your own home is extremely liberating if you’re single (**side note: and live alone. Unless the roommates are keen on those kind of shenanigans…).
  10. Be a Visitor in Your Own City: When you’re single you get to go on first dates! That means being a visitor in your own city and checking out the exciting touristy things you wouldn’t normally do.
  11. Mix up Your Meals: Summertime means farmers markets! No need to worry about what your “other” does or doesn’t like, you can create your own summertime concoctions that you enjoy!
  12. No Random Mess: No need to worry about bathing suits tossed over the bannister and sand sprinkled on the floor when you get home from work. The only random summertime messes are from your beachwear….and somehow they are much less annoying when they are yours!
  13. Treat Yourself: Summertime means all those winter clothes are shoved into the back of your closet and new summer-wear is out on display in the stores at a reasonable cost (especially considering you’re only buying half the shirt)… go ahead and rock those crop tops you single saucy broad!
  14. Find Your Zen: No matter how similar you are to someone, or how well you get along, there will always be times when you fight.  Summertime is not a time for fighting; it’s a time to relax, tan, swim, and maybe grab a few bevvies. Being single means no conflict.
  15. Sexy Magic: As soon as you own your singleness you immediately become more attractive to those around you. Whether you’re strutting down the beach, sauntering up to the barista, or casually tossing that Frisbee back to the individual with the winning “thank you” smile, you are owning this summer!!

* For the full article see Top 15 Reasons to be Single this Summer

**For the full 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single book see Amazon

Did I miss one?  Leave your comment below!!

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Breakup

How to Quickly Get Rid of Your Friends that Suck

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At some point in our lives we find ourselves questioning the quality of our group of close friends. Perhaps you’ve been friends since high school and you’ve just held on even though things aren’t a great fit, or maybe you’ve picked them up recently after a friendly introduction in the bathroom bar (post-jagger bomb shot of course).

Whatever the reason, we all have those one or two (or maybe even a handful for you eager beavers out there) friends that we really don’t know why we’re still friends with. Yet, we continue the friendship and pretend as if things are fine.

Some of these friendships are harmless, and at times even helpful. There are others though, that simmer under the surface just waiting to pop up and shake the foundation of your once pleasant lifestyle.

How do you determine the difference?  Why, with this list of course:

Top 5 Friend Personality Types:

#1: The Single Clinger

This is usually one of those single friends that focuses on the negative attributes of being single. Whether it’s another “Lonely Friday night with the cat “LOL #catcuddles” Instagram post, or 35 Snapchats to you of dinner with the parents including “Dinner at the parents house, so glad I get food made for me #chicken”, they always seem to fish for some sort of affirmation that their life isn’t completely devoid of excitement and meaning.

It doesn’t matter if they’re talking about pets or parents or friends…. The undertone is always “I’m single and I’m lonely and my life sucks.”

Toss or Keep? These friends are good to keep around, as they are always there for you.  They are usually the most loyal in your times of need, and you are usually who they turn to for advice or.  However, if their Instagram or Snapchat stories get to be too much, it’s your job to set them straight.

#2: The Boyfriend/Girlfriend Obsessed

These are the friends that find a girlfriend/boyfriend and all of a sudden are gone from your life.  They only reach out to you when either a) a fight breaks out and they need you to reaffirm their position or b) they are becoming bored and need their girl time/ boy time.

Toss or Keep? Problem is, you will likely become one of these one day, and you will want your friends to be there in your time of need.  Sucking it up now and taking one for the team will only help you later.

#3 The Quiet Listener

These friends are the best friends.  They will listen to you whenever you have problems, and will wait for you to ask them about their own.  If you don’t reach out to hang out with them they will likely never text you, but as soon as you reach out they are there.

Toss or Keep?  Never let this one go – they wont be around all the time, but when they are, they are extremely valuable.

#4: The Alcoholic

This is that friend that you know will always be up for a good party.  Every time you go out and every conversation you have, drinking is involved.

You don’t know them on a personal level but when you think about them in general you feel a positive vibe about them. They are always up for a good time.

Toss or Keep? Toss these friends.  They often bring a lot of drama, and talk to you about their life situations asking for advice.  Other than that, you don’t know each other on a personal level and only ever bond when drinking together.

#5: The Advice Giver

There is always that one friend that knows the solution to everything. You have a bad day and you just want to rant to them – and they come back with some solution to solve all your problems. WTF…

Toss or Keep? Keep this. Yes, this is annoying, but who’s fault is it?  They are obviously a good friend trying to help you out, and yes you have the right to rant to them.  However, if they offer advice that you don’t want it’s your responsibility to tell them that you really just need a shoulder to listen and not a sounding board.

Get Rid of Your Friends that Suck?

Most of us think we have friends that we just want to drop. In reality though, it’s good to think about those friends that are just annoying in the moment vs. those that really don’t contribute to our lives in general.

Like my writing style?  Check out 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single, available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

 

Ideas for the trash can

Why Drug Testing Welfare Recipients is a Waste

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Social media provides a plethora of benefits. Whether it’s maintaining social connections you wouldn’t have otherwise had, creating beneficial support networks, or accessing more information than ever before, social media helps streamline today’s social channels in a manner unfathomed during the early years of today’s millennials.

At this moment, however, social media also acts as a platform for anyone with an opinion to promote their views and opinions to the world.  The fundamental problem is that today, the voice that stands out is no longer the word of the majority – but rather, the voice of the entertaining minority that may not make a whole lot of sense but for a swift click of a mouse button seems the better choice.

Drug Testing Welfare Recipients

Let’s take drug testing welfare recipients as an example.  If presented with both sides of the argument, most people would choose to not vote for drug testing welfare recipients.  However, since both sides are not given on social media, many follow the leader and exclaim “I work and pay my taxes, why should my money go to drug addicts without a job!?”

At first this seems like a logical argument – I pay taxes, and I see that MY tax money going to support people who are using drugs, who don’t have a job.  I’m buying them food, I’m giving them money.  THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!

Taking a Step Back

Are you willing to see the other side of this argument?  In University I enrolled in a debate course and we were asked to pair up with someone.  We were given a largely debated and controversial topic (eg. abortion), and asked to argue the other side (meaning, argue for the side you would never argue for). This was the hardest and most eye-opening task of my life. I am pro-choice, and have NEVER thought I would be swayed, and yet this debate opened my eyes to a world I had never seen.  I am not saying that I have switched over to pro-life as a fundamental state of belief – what I am saying is that I now know both sides more completely than I ever would have before.

So first ask yourself – are you willing to see things another way?

Drug Testing Welfare Recipients

Did you know that this has been tested in 9 different states? In these states drug testing has cost more money for the state than it has saved (yes that means MORE of your tax dollars). Tests resulted in a less than 1% drug usage rate overall, and in most cases the person suffered from other health problems which were unrelated to drug use.

Our biggest problem is that we are arguing over how to handle these problems after they arise.

I’ll say that again: Our biggest problem is that we are arguing over how to handle these problems after they arise. “Should we be taxing welfare recipients?” needs to be turned into “how can we reduce the number of welfare recipients?”.

We do NOT need to be focusing on how to DEAL with those on welfare, but how to PREVENT people from ending up on welfare.

Global Relevancy

It isn’t just welfare.  It’s any action that produces a negative effect within society – Welfare, Drug Abuse, Abortion, Poverty, Criminality.

WHAT IF….

What if we focused on preventing these things?

What if we put our money towards making birth control more available.. or even FREE?
What if we put our society’s dollars towards schools, and helped with recognizing children with learning disabilities?
What if we put our taxes towards communities that built upon and supported one another?  Communities that worked together to donate clothing and resources to others in need?

The solution is not becoming angry at band-aid solutions after-the-fact.  The solution is to prevent these social injustices before they begin.

In Closing

It is easy to say “I will not let my tax dollars go towards a meth head, who does not work, while I slave away for 10 hours a day”. The reality is, if we cut off welfare to these people who have fallen victim to drug addiction – who, when given the option to eat or do drugs and die would quickly rather than choose the latter… how can you, as a human being, say “let them die”.

The choice is NOT “give them my money” or “let them die”.

There is an option we have not invested in: Prevention.

Those traveled down this path already deserve our compassion. Those that have not and can be saved deserve every prevention measure necessary.

So, rather than using your social media for promoting hatred, open your mind to ways we can prevent these tragedies.  Ways we can put our tax dollar to good use, so that we aren’t in the land of “The Lord of the Flies“, ganging up on the helpless – but rather, in a whole new world where human beings help each other to fulfill the potential within us.

 

Like my writing style?  Check out 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single, available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

Breakup Care Package

The Benefits of Being Single

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My phone rang as my coworker knocked on my door.  I told them I’d be over in a minute, as I answered the phone and glanced at my inbox to see 5 unread emails awaiting my attention.

As I hung up the phone I felt a sense of excitement as I reflected on my current situation – I love my job, I thought to myself.  I love having a ton of things going on, and knowing that I have the experience to handle them all.  I love the sense of importance and success I get with every daily achievement.

I reflected back to my elementary school days when I would scatter my drawings all over my desk to look as busy as dad did, as he reviewed cases for an upcoming trial.  I idolized the success of my parents and looked forward to one day working hard to be in a job that I loved and was proud of.

This is just the personality type I have – I am driven, strong, and independent (admittedly to a fault). What does this mean for relationships?  It means I would rather be single than be with someone who suppresses rather than compliments my strengths. I don’t want to be a side-kick, I want a partner in crime (so to speak).

I do believe that one day a partner will come along that can handle my gusto, and enhance my life in a manner that blows all my reasons for being single out of the water.

Until he comes along, however, I embrace all the benefits of being single.  I revel in coming home to watch my favorite TV shows, down a bucket of Ben N Jerry’s without judgement, and sprawl out in my very own bed.  I celebrate all 101 Reasons Why it’s GREAT to be Single.

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

9781496964311_COVER_FQA.indd

Single ladies in the summer

Top 20 Reasons to Be Single this Summer

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As a newly single lady, I announced my singleness with the expectation of cheers of liberation and praise. To my surprise, I was instead given hugs, comforting words, and suggestions on where I could go to find a new man.

Evidently society possessed the opinion that a single female in her late twenties should be jumping back on that bandwagon quickly, or be left to a life of solitude.  Even dating sites began insisting that they had the right formula to meet the man of my dreams, and my own mother subtly hinted at the benefits that match.com could bring me.

While surprised at these reactions, I wasn’t phased by them.  The relationship grass may have been greener, but rather than looking over the other side of the fence I was going to water my own damn lawn!

I began to jot down all the reasons why I was appreciative of being single, and what do you know – I came up with 101 of them!

With summer just around the corner, I have a whole new list of reasons why it’s great to be single!  Let’s take a look through the top 20 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single This Summer:

  1. You’ll Look Better

We get into a relationship and we become complacent.  Not to mention, you just don’t seem to have as much time as when you’re single.  Being single means you have more time to hit the gym, and gives you the incentive you need to do so – get that gym body!

  1. More Friends

Single people have more emotional energy to share with friends.  When you enter into a relationship, you want to spend all the time you can with your boyfriend or girlfriend.  That’s cute, but now you have less time to spend with friends and your social circle dwindles.  Keep that social life luscious by living the single life.

  1. More Travelling

Summer is a fantastic time to get out and explore the open road.  When you are in a relationship you have to work out both of your schedules, and you have to choose a place that you both want to go to.  When you’re single, you have a ton of friends to choose from – at least one of them will be available and willing to head off to your favorite destination.

  1. Dating

Summer dating is fantastic – there are a TON of summertime activities that are a really good time, and usually FREE.  You don’t have to be guilty about going on a couple dates each week because you aren’t blowing your wallet.

  1. No Sharing Ice Cream

It’s summer… it’s freakin’ hot out.  So you go to the store to grab a tub of your favorite quality cookie dough ice cream.  When you’re single, you don’t have to share!  That tub is simply too small for two spoons.

  1. Getting Where you Need to Be

Doing anything always takes much longer when there are two people.  Getting ready to go out, picking a restaurant, and even planning your traveling adventures all take much less time when you’re solo.

  1. Finding Your Stuff

You have a way of organizing your things that may not make sense to someone else.  So your boyfriend or girlfriend, trying to be helpful, cleans the house and puts your things somewhere – and now you can’t find them!  When you’re running out of the house to hit the beach the last thing you want to do it rummage around looking for your bathing suit.

  1. Bonus Invites

There are lots of events happening in the summer!  If you are single and one of your friends of family members has an extra ticket somewhere they are going to ask you, you are the token single person there to save the day.

  1. Guilt-Free Adventures

In the summer you never know what shenanigans you’ll get up to. Boat rides with random hotties at the beach?  Heck yes!

  1. Belt it Out

Summertime is the best time to roll down your windows and belt it out to your favorite tune.  There’s an air of liberation that comes when you are alone in the car, that just isn’t there when you’re driving around with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

  1. You Know Where You’re Junk’s At

This point relates to junk in a sexual nature.  It’s summertime, there are scantily clad people everywhere and the risk of cheating is at an all-time high.  When you’re single, you know where your junk is and who you’re sharing it with.

  1. Let is Hang Low

It’s a fun visual, however this point goes for gals just as much as guys – you’re single, you live alone, and it’s hot out because its summer.  Why not be naked in your own home?  When you live with someone, even someone you’re comfortable with, you probably aren’t just wandering around the house naked.  When you’re single though – all bets are off (unless you don’t have blinds…then perhaps be conscious of your neighbors as well).

  1. No Foreign Shniggits

What is a schniggit you say?!  A schniggit is a small fleck of something, anything.  Those moustache trimmings he leaves in the sink? Schniggit!  The leg hairs sticking to the side of the tub after she shaves?  Shchniggits!  The pieces of sand dragged into the house after a day at the beach?  Those are schniggits too!  When you’re single the only schniggits you need to worry about are your own.  Somehow they are much less gross when they are yours.

  1. A Visitor in Your Own City

The first date always carries pressure of doing something exciting.  This helps you do things you wouldn’t normally do, and in the summer there are OH so many activities to try!  After a few first dates you now know you’re city better than before, and you have lots more activities to do with your friends.

  1. Mix Up Your Meals

When you’re single you can eat whatever you want! Summer time means farmer’s markets, with TONS of fresh local veggies.  No need to worry about whether your boyfriend or girlfriend will eat what you’re cooking – it’s all up to you!

  1. No Random Mess

No cleaning up someone else’s mess.  Whether it’s a dirty bathing suit in the bathtub, a used towel thrown on the floor from a day at the beach, or sandy flip flops in the hallway, when it’s someone else’s mess it’s WAY more annoying than when it’s yours.

  1. What Do You Want?

Ever been asked what you wanted to do and actually had no idea what to say?  In a relationship, you’re constantly taking into consideration what your partner wants to do, and not really thinking about what would make you happy.  Summertime has lots of fun activities for you to try – get out there and do something you wouldn’t normally do!

  1. Treat Yourself

Feel like buying a whole new summer wardrobe?  Go for it!  If you have the money, that is – I am not advocating debt for clothing.  In a relationship, your partner seems to feel as though they have a right to comment on all your purchases – when you are single, you can blow the bank without feeling that guilt.

  1. Finding Your Zen

No matter how similar you are to someone there will always be differences, and that means fighting.  Summer isn’t a time for fighting, it’s a time for relaxing and having fun!  No relationship means no squabbling.

  1. Sexy Magic

Newly single?  You just got hotter.  Once you own your singleness, you carry an air of independence about you that is envious to those in relationships, and extremely attractive to those who aren’t!  You strut down the beach feeling fine you saucy singleton.

What are YOUR reasons for being single this summer?  Leave a comment below!

Want to read up on all 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single? Check out the book on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble 

Plant growth

Being Single = Personal Growth

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As I carefully plucked the dead leaves off my plant, I thought to myself that by removing these parts that the plant no longer needed, I was allowing it more room to breathe and grow.

Being me, I immediately had an “aha, metaphor!” moment and chuckled to myself like an idiot.  It’s true though – when I am in a relationship with someone who is incompatible or even toxic, I hold myself back from personal growth.  When I am single, I focus more on myself and how I can improve emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically.

I have had some toxic relationships.  I knew that they were “dead leaves” to my personal growth, and yet there was a part of me that nagged “if we try harder, if we change this part of our self, then this could work”.  Well, it didn’t work, and during the process of discovering this I faced some heavy emotional turmoil.  Truth was, we weren’t a good fit – we weren’t right for each other.

There is no regret there because this was a learning experience.  It simply meant that I need to be single and focus on growing personally and understanding myself better and what I need in a relationship.  No more square peg round hole!

I continue to grow myself emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically on a daily basis and I tell you – it feels amazing #itsgreattobesingle

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on AuthorhouseAmazon, and Barnes and Noble 

 

Single Woman

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be single

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Singleness has somehow become a word that carries with it a negative connotation, as if being single means there is something wrong with you. Comments such as “she’s such a lovely girl, I wonder why she hasn’t found a good man yet” are coupled with looks of pity and suggestions of how to meet someone.

Well, I’m here to tell you that the negative connotation of singleness is BS. We learn faster, discover ourselves more deeply, and are overall happier and more content with life when we are single than when we are in an unsuitable relationship with another human being. Over the past decade, I’ve had four long-term relationships; none of which lasted. While I loved them, none of those men were the one. I believe that there is someone out there—that is, a man that will make my heart pound with excitement and my hands clam up— and I will not settle for less than that.

During this time, I have embraced my singleness. I’ve discovered various reasons why, contrary to popular belief, it is truly great to be single. I am not lonely, I am not pining for affection, and I feel more alive than ever. I’m standing up for singleness, and I tell you, it feels great.

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on AuthorhouseAmazon, and Barnes and Noble 

#itsgreattobesingle