Breakup Care Package

Staying Positive After a Breakup

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We’ve all gone through it – that post breakup slump. Where a big black cloud seems to come over your world and all of a sudden you’re encased in negativity and pessimism.

Thoughts of self doubt – “maybe I’m just not good enough for anyone”, fear – “what if I’m alone forever?” and rage – “why can’t he see what he’s missing out on!”, become all too familiar, and our happy-go-lucky selves slowly become grayed out….

These are all very normal thoughts.  All part of the process of working through feelings of pain of the experience.  Eventually we work through them and then gradually, or sometimes suddenly, we realize we’re starting to feel happy again.  We find our normal.

Sometimes when you’re in the slump it seems never ending.  But it does end, it always does.  Nothing lasts forever – not sadness, not happiness.  So, we just wait out the hard times and cherish the good ones.

If you have an awesome best friend they’ve probably already brought you a Break-Up Care Package.  However, there are things that you can do for yourself to help move this process along faster to get you out of your funk.

Here are my top 5 tips to a happy breakup recovery:

1. Get Some Rest

Breakups are emotional and stress out your body.  Your knee-jerk reaction may be to go out and party all night to forget whats-his-face, however all you’re doing is adding more stress on your already tired mind and body.  This is a good time to avoid too much alcohol and instead take care of #1: you.

2. Surround Yourself with Friends/Family

This is probably a time where you’re feeling alone and maybe vulnerable.  It’s easy to get stuck in your own head going over and over all the good times, bad times, the ups and downs and everything between.  It’s easier to get out of your head when there are people around you who care about you and can help you take your mind off things during this time.

3. Treat Yourself

Do things for yourself that make you happy, without guilt.  Go shopping and buy a new shirt, bake the whole roll of cookie dough, watch a whole season of your favorite show, or sit in that bubble bath for an hour with a good book (maybe 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single?!).  You know what makes you happy, so go ahead and indulge in those guilty pleasures because this is the time when you truly deserve them.

4. Exercise

Yeah, most of you probably hate me right now! Exercise is likely the last thing you want to do when you’re feeling low.  BUT if you get your butt up and go out there and do it, I guarantee you that it won’t be something you regret.  No one says “man I feel so gross after that workout”.  It doesn’t have to be something huge – even going to the gym and hitting the elliptical while rockin’ your favorite tunes is a huge energy booster.

5. Talk About it

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mean dwell on every little thing about the relationship.  I’m referring to how you feel about it and how the experience impacted you.  It’s definitely much easier to just shut it out and pretend as though it never happened, but all that is doing is pushing that anger, hurt and resentment under the surface and those feelings are going to come up eventually.  It’s easier to talk about them now, so that they can come up and out and you can move on with your life.

Those are just the 5 that I’ve found work best for me.  Have others?  I’d love to hear them – please share in the comments below!

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Breakup Care Package

The Benefits of Being Single

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My phone rang as my coworker knocked on my door.  I told them I’d be over in a minute, as I answered the phone and glanced at my inbox to see 5 unread emails awaiting my attention.

As I hung up the phone I felt a sense of excitement as I reflected on my current situation – I love my job, I thought to myself.  I love having a ton of things going on, and knowing that I have the experience to handle them all.  I love the sense of importance and success I get with every daily achievement.

I reflected back to my elementary school days when I would scatter my drawings all over my desk to look as busy as dad did, as he reviewed cases for an upcoming trial.  I idolized the success of my parents and looked forward to one day working hard to be in a job that I loved and was proud of.

This is just the personality type I have – I am driven, strong, and independent (admittedly to a fault). What does this mean for relationships?  It means I would rather be single than be with someone who suppresses rather than compliments my strengths. I don’t want to be a side-kick, I want a partner in crime (so to speak).

I do believe that one day a partner will come along that can handle my gusto, and enhance my life in a manner that blows all my reasons for being single out of the water.

Until he comes along, however, I embrace all the benefits of being single.  I revel in coming home to watch my favorite TV shows, down a bucket of Ben N Jerry’s without judgement, and sprawl out in my very own bed.  I celebrate all 101 Reasons Why it’s GREAT to be Single.

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

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getting over a breakup

The Ultimate Breakup Care Package

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So you’re friend has just gone through a breakup, and they are looking pretty down. Your once happy little Piglett seems to have grown a solemn dark cloud above their head, and their pink exterior has faded into a darkened Eeyor grey.

You watch as their world slows to a crawl. Day-to-day activities that they used to accomplish so easily (like getting out of bed), all of a sudden take extra effort.  They barely answer your calls and responses to your text messages dwindle to a single “k”.

So what are you supposed to do to get them out of this funk?  Well, how about making them a Breakup Care Package! Not just any package though, the Ultimate Breakup Care Package:

1. THEIR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE

Not a lot of it… (to avoid wallowing in drunken pain and calling the ex resulting in dramadramadrama), but a bottle of wine to share, or a 6 pack of their favorite lager to help lighten the mood!

If your friend is of the lady variety, try suggesting Sangria.  This fruity little number is super delightful – heck, even if your friend is a guy its hard to say no to alcohol and fruit.  Bonus points for throwing in a crazy straw.

2. THEIR FAVORITE FOOD

Food is the ultimate comfort! Especially favorite food.  Especially all their favorite food.  Sit them in front of a personal buffet of carby fatty meaty goodness to give their brain way too much to think about, and distract them from their troubles.  Feel sad or eat more bacon…. hmmm.

Just to be safe, probably good to bring a mix of sweets and savory – after that ooey gooey cheesy salty goodness the only logical choice is raw chocolate chip cookie dough covered in brownies and chocolate syrup.

3. A NO-ENERGY ACTIVITY

Your friend is probably in a pretty down mood, so it is likely that they don’t want to do anything or go anywhere.  However, there are lots of activities you can bring them to keep them occupied (and their mind off whats-their-face), where they don’t really have to do anything at all.

This could be watching a movie, painting nails, playing scratch-n-win (get a lot so they at least win one of them!), listening to their favorite music, or go old school and bring a board game. Heck, it may even give them a sense of nostalgia and pull them back to their young childhood days before the opposite sex came and ruined everything.

4. TICKETS TO AN EVENT OR MOVIE

Looking forward to some sort of event is a great pick-me-up.  You know what your friend likes, so be creative and seek out some tickets to their favorite band, or to a movie you know they’d be into.  You know, for when their face is a bit less puffy from crying.

5. 101 REASONS WHY ITS GREAT TO BE SINGLE

And of course, a dose of optimism and a change in perspective never hurts!  101 Reasons Why it’s Great to be Single presents an optimistic view of the single life.  Let your friend read up for themselves, or read it to them as they down their glass of Chardonnay!

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single is available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!

Breakup Care Package

Its Great to Be Single

Have I left anything out?  If there’s something that you would include in your breakup package I’d love to hear it – leave your comments below!

Single Lady Pie

Excessive Indulgence

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You know that feeling when you come home with a tub of your favorite quality cookie dough ice cream, and your significant other asks to share?  That twang of resentment and the passing thought – “well the tub is just not big enough for two spoons.”

I was recently at the grocery store and I saw that lemon meringue pie was on sale.  Did I dare?  You bet I did.  I decided to have lemon meringue pie for dinner.

At first I cut out a big piece, but then thought – eh, what the heck, I’m single!  And I just stuck a fork in it and sat in front of the TV eating out of the pie tin.

IT WAS SO FREAKING SATISFYING. #itsgreattobesingle

101 Reasons Why it’s Great to be Single is now available on Barnes and Noble