How to Move to Canada!

donald trump, Uncategorized

So you want to move to Canada, eh?

Is that because you refused to choose between an unlikable old frail corrupt woman and a misogynistic uneducated combatant jerk?

Or perhaps you protested by voting for an independent!

Either way – I have some hard truth for you, that you may not be ready for:

Ready?

If you didn’t vote, or voted for anyone other than those that would lead to Hilary in the white house, the current situation (your president elect), is your own fault.

OUCH. Those italics really hit home, eh? (Side note: I don’t usually say “eh” as often as this, but it does seem fitting).

So anyway, MOVING TO CANADA!

In all fairness, the fault may actually not lay on you, but on the person who typed out the ballots. After all, if they had labelled her “NOT Trump” instead of “Hillary Clinton” she probably would have have stood a chance.

Fact is, those that wanted Trump voted Trump and those that hated both of them didn’t vote.

Do you know what that means? Yep, you rested on your laurels thinking no way he would get elected and BOOM, shit happened. Woke up in Trumpland!

And important side note: Protesting??? Really???

We all know very few of you voted in the first place, so realizing now that you fucked up and storming the streets in anger on a weekday because you have no full-time job will really not do anything for your cause.

Sorry….

So anyways, here are ways you can move to Canada:

You might be eligible for Express Entry, which includes the following federal economic immigration programs:

In addition:

Take a language test (Fee approx $300CAD)

Canada’s official languages are English and French. You need to submit language test results for all programs under Express Entry, even if English or French is your first language.

You also need to achieve a minimum score on this test.

Moving to Canada is actually pretty difficult.  Not to mention our entire country is less than the size of California.

Instead, maybe just vote next time.

Sorry…

 

 

 

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What is Happiness?

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Have you ever asked a friend or family member: “What do you think the purpose of life is?”.

If you haven’t, I recommend trying it out.

What’s your answer?  Take a moment and think about it.

Seriously.  What is the purpose of life?

Write it down in front of you.

I’ve asked a few people, and most often the answer is either a sarcastic reply, a misdirection or a general non-answer.  After all, it really isn’t everyday general conversation. Understandably, even when worked into conversation (as best one can), it takes people off-guard.

In my experience, those that do give an honest answer usually say “to be happy”. Which, in all honesty, is what I would say as well.

My rational is that, on the grand scheme of things, we’re here for a short while, and therefore “the purpose of life is to find happiness and be fulfilled”.

If you do end up asking this question to others you may find this is the answer you get as well.

So, if this is the most common answer, the next question then becomes: “If the purpose of life is happiness…What defines happiness?”.

After all, the definition could mean many different things to different people, right?  One person could say “happiness is a double cheeseburger” while another could say “I am happy only when engaging in deep meaningful conversation”.

Does this mean happiness is subjective?

… think about that for a moment…

Does what makes me happy differ from you, and if so, should I do everything in my power to ensure my own happiness?

This line of reasoning is dangerous as it seems to lead to justified selfishness. Example:  “I’m going to go out drinking with my friends tonight because I’ve had a hard week and I deserve it, so if I call in sick tomorrow it isn’t a big deal.”

The overarching problem is people mistaking pleasure for happiness.

Pleasure: I want this now to feel good. Happiness: I am content with my life on a larger scale.

Seems pretty simple!

In practice though, it doesn’t quite play out.  To be happy overall we must do things that we don’t really enjoy. We help others, go to work, do our chores, etc.

Some find joy in these day-to-day activities, but most do them simply because they need to.  Either way, it leads to a fulfilled, meaningful life.

Some people think “if I won the lottery I would be so happy”. This simply isn’t true.  In fact, studies have shown that those that win the lottery see a spike in happiness after winning but this dips down to normal levels after a very short time.

Why is this? Because your normal defines your happiness.  If you can’t be happy with what you have you cannot achieve more.

So what is happiness?  It is your overall perception of the quality of your life.  If you feel it isn’t “enough” or you should be feeling more, this may be an experience of displeasure and not an overall discontentment.

Take a moment.  List out the facets of your life you are grateful for. And answer the question:

Are you happy?

 

 

 

 

Pokemon Go: To Play or Not to Play?

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Have you found yourself thinking “everyone else is playing Pokemon Go, should I download it too?!”

If you are a huge gamer, then yes.  Obviously.  Why did you even ask? Go catch ’em all!

BUT, if you are NOT a gamer, and just jumping on board because everyone else is playing Pokemon Go, these questions will help you decide:

  1. Are You in a Relationship?
    If you answered “YES”, that means your significant other has Pokemon access, allowing you to participate in the Pokemon hunt, without leading to Pokemon obsession.
    If you answered “NO”, then obviously you should go play.  Not only will you make new friends but you may even pick up some other Poke-gamer while out and about  and BOOM = insta connection 😉
  2. Do You Know 10+ of the Names of the Pokemon in Pokemon Go?
    If you answered “NO” that means you haven’t played Pokemon before or are less likely to become obsessed with the game, so yes, go play.
    If you answered “YES” then you shouldn’t even be reading this blog because you’re obs a gamer already (see above), so why are you even here.  UNLESS you were one of those people who played Pokemon Snap as a child, which I have huge respect for, so still, go play.
  3. Do You Have an Obsessive Personality?
    If you answered “NO” that means you are less likely to push aside other responsibilities to play the game and should definitely play the game.  Although you may get bored quickly so don’t forget to remove it from your phone when you do.
    If you answered “YES” I highly recommend not downloading the game.  Especially if you have not done so already! There are so many people who are so far ahead of you, downloading it now will just be disappointing (not to mention distract you from whatever else it is you do in life that is more important than Pokemon).
  4. Are you Worried About Data Usage?
    Many places these days have Wi-Fi, which is great, but there as so many Pokemon NOT in the wifi areas that this will use up a lot of your data.  So unless you have a ton of data, Pokemon Go is a nogo for you.
  5. When Driving, is Your Phone within Reach?
    If you answered “NO” that means you won’t be tempted to catch Pokemon while driving, so Pokemon away.
    If you answered “YES” then you should a) never download this game.  EVER.  EVER. EVER. b) never download this game.  EVER.  EVER. EVER. and c) never download this game.  EVER.  EVER. EVER. – Even if you have one of those cars that will text and call through Siri, DO NOT.  “Why?”  You ask.
    BECAUSE SIRI DOESN’T CATCH POKEMON.
    You will want to catch Pokemon, and Siri won’t be able to.  SO unless you have a co-pilot at all times in your car, DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS GAME.

 

If you answered NO to most of these questions, then cool, go ahead and download Pokemon Go and join the trend.  Personally, I answered YES to too many to justify downloading the game. Especially the obsessive personality question – I will catch them all and I will beat everyone and I will wiiiiiiiiin. too much.

 

 

 

 

no tinder

Why Tinder is NOT the Answer

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Ooh congrats, you found TINDER.  Or maybe you are just researching Tinder and stumbled upon this, in which case maybe read this first before plunging into that online hookup cesspool.

In the 2016 world of dating, relationships that don’t work out are all too common. Women secretly hope for romance and monogamy, but then when he says he “only does hookups” we’re surprised, and even hurt, when 3 months later we find out he’s dating other women.

Why do we do that? Why do we carry on for so long?

Well, at first I had no idea. I came back into this dating pool as a saucy single female in 2014 after 4 long-term relationships (pretty much sequentially), only to discover that the dating lifestyle was not the way I left it almost a decade ago.

At first, and I’m ashamed to admit it, I blamed this dating dichotomy on other women. I had heard that “no one commits”, “it’s all digital now”, and “everyone just sees each other without labels”. Which, in my mind meant other girls were allowing guys to treat them this way.

So, in my ignorance I joined Tinder, thinking that I just wasn’t like these other girls.  Oh, how wrong I was.

At first it felt good.  I liked the attention I was getting, and I even made plans to meet with a couple guys. Given my monogamous nature though, after a good first month of dating one guy I cut the others off and deleted my tinder… only to find out a month later that he was still very active.

The worst part is, many girls carry on, accepting the non-label of “seeing each other”, while making statements such as:

  1. “He’s such a dick.  He invited me to his house on the first date, then we had sex and he never called me”.
  2. “OMG don’t date him, he’s hooked up with me and 3 of my best friends.”
  3.  “Guys are such douches, I haven’t met one guy off Tinder who has actually taken me on a date.”
  4. He only likes me when I come over to sleep with him.  He doesn’t even know what I do for work or who my friends are”.

 

The problem with these types of statements is that the focus is on their faults and not what we can do differently.  The only way to regain power is to focus on our part. For each of these, think “what can I DO to prevent this from happening? What is in my power or control?”

Sometimes it is easy to focus on someone else’s part because they are obviously in the wrong.  Trouble is though, you can’t fix anything by pointing out why someone else is wrong. The only power that you have is your own. And owning this part does NOT make you a bad person…  BUT… it does make you happy.

So, if you are at all interested, here is how you can change the dating landscape:

  1.  Meet in public for your first date
  2.  Never have more than 2 glasses of wine/drinks on a first date
  3.  As soon as you feel a “red flag”, move on…

My biggest advice is NEVER worry that you’ll miss out by turning someone down.  That simply means they weren’t right for you at that time.

Bottom line… you are an amazing individual and don’t let todays dating world trick you into thinking you’re worth less than you are!

Appreciating Your Worth

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Relationships are difficult. Pursuing a relationship is even more difficult and anyone that has experienced the dating landscape will agree that the entire process is time consuming, frustrating and at many times overtly embarrassing.

So why do we do it? Perhaps it’s the complexity and mystery of meeting and engaging with another person on an emotional level. Or maybe it’s our avsion to being alone. Perhaps, it’s as simple as our biological predisposition to find someone for the benefit of procreation. Most likely, it’s a combination of all of those things.

If you are like me, and have experienced both dating in today’s dating landscape, as well as dating 10 years ago, you will notice three very prominent things about today’s dating environment (*Don’t worry: those of you who weren’t dating 10years ago but are actively dating now can likely still relate):

1) You Can Google Everyone

If you were dating online and meeting people 10ish years ago you needed a great profile photo (more than one ideally) and a bio that positioned you in a positive light. People read your bio because that’s all they really knew about you.

Today though, people have so many options that most people don’t even read profiles. It’s true. You can test this by putting something in your bio that is either shocking (enough to be comment worthy), or surprising, and leave it there for two weeks.  I once wrote about my pet avocado named herman and only one person ever mentioned anything about it.

There is much more access now to online knowledge  You can google people, look them up on LinkedIN, follow them on twitter, and even pull up images from last year’s Christmas party.

So how do you stand out?   Well, here’s what you don’t do: Don’t try to be cheesy.  Don’t use pick up lines or ask rehearsed questions.

Why? Because you sound fake – you sound like you’re trying to sell something. People you meet don’t want to be sold on you. They want a genuine person who is real and genuine and trustworthy.

So what do you do then?  It may sound obvious but it’s true – just be you. If you’re nervous, then say you’re nervous and if you haven’t dated in a while be open about it. There’s nothing wrong with being open and transparent about who you are – in fact the more open you are the more trustworthy (to a point, please don’t go spilling your entire biography on date number one).

2) Initial Interactions Are Not In Your Favor

When you meet someone, you immediately (but unconsciously) judge them as one of the following: friend, enemy, indifferent or sexual partner. Most people you meet in a day you will be indifferent towards. Unless you have some type of positive or negative interaction with them, it’s likely that you don’t even remember them. The lady you pass in the street, the cashier at the grocery store, the man who held the door for you… indifferent.

When meeting someone that you are attracted to then, and perhaps may even want to pursue a relationship with, you’re starting out in a disadvantaged state. Most people (especially women), are wary of men approaching them in general. The location this occurs in can even make this significantly more true) – think of the gym, when you’re wiping the stair machine just as Joe Smith waltzes over to ask how your workout is going. Nope.

So how do you approach someone you’re interested in? Be confident – you are a great catch, and this person would belucky to date you.  If you don’t believe that to be true then you shouldnt be trying to date in general. Number 1 is love you first. Secondly, don’t leer over them and half-ass approach them as if you’re waiting for the “best moment”. If you’re going to do it then do it – if you throw in %110 and she’s not interested then at least you know you did all you could do.  Lastly, be prepared for rejection. Most of the time you’ll be shut down.  It could be for any number of reasons  and most of the time it doesn’t even have anything to do with you. If you get shut down and they don’t tell you too much on why, just make up a reason in your mind why. Any reason. As long as that reason doesn’t place any blame on you.

3) There is a Positive Correlation Between Your Response Time and the Number of Dates You Get

Have you ever taken a leap of faith and sent the “first message” to someone that you were interested in?  Not a person in front of you but someone you either met online or exchanged numbers with and haven’t really spoken to yet. As soon as you send that message a knot forms in your stomach and you just wait in anticipation, wondering if and how they will respond. That waiting is torture.

Imagine now if instead of waiting minutes for a reply, the hours start to pass.  You start to wonder if they maybe don’t like you, or that whatver you said wasn’t clever enough, or that your profile photo wasn’t your best angle. You begin to form a scenario in your mind of things that could have happened or how they may be feeling, which are completely fabricated and yet entirely possible (and in your mind, even true).

Now imagine that they do get back to you.  A day after you’ve sent the message you receive a reply with apologies that they were at a conference and had just received your message. Perfectly valid excuse and yet because of all those things that had been going through your head over the past day your image of them had already been colored. Psychologically we judge people immediately in our subconscious and then find evidence to support those feelings.

First impressions matter. Response times matter. If your email response times are longer than 20minutes your chance of piquing or maintaining interest is slim to none.

Interested in the way I write? Check out 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to be Single now available on Amazon.

 

 

donald trump

Should You Vote Donald Trump?

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The fact that Trump is even considered as a candidate is appalling… and frankly, the fact that he currently leads in the polls makes me physically ill.  However, given today’s access to social media, where the majority vote is not often based on critical thought, but on irrational emotional majority, it is not surprising.

The main problem is that Donald Trump represents many of our internal negative thoughts about society that we would never say to anyone, and yet believe to be true. We (the collective “we” of America, as stated by the current poll forecasts), therefore jump on the Trump bandwagon in favor of someone who is willing to voice the opinions we aren’t ready to.

The main problem lies… and the fundamental suggestion I URGE you to consider… is “although I take this view as an individual, is this a view that I want my society to take as a whole?”

Personal Ideology vs. Government Ideology

A great example is Capital Punishment: I personally agree that the “F*ckin sunnuvab*tch” that killed a relative of mine should be murdered immediately. My personal, emotional reaction is for revenge.  BUT – is this the reaction I want my government to have?

NO. And here is why:

The saying “an eye-for-an-eye leaves the whole world blind” is not just a fun poetic scripture.  If our society focuses on retaliation instead of rehabilitation, not only does our death count increase, but the innocent number of people affected by tragedies does so exponentially. Also, in case you weren’t aware – the death penalty costs our taxpayers significantly more than a life sentence in prison.

So, while I personally would not hesitate to harm anyone who lay a finger on someone I cared for, I do NOT want a government that jumps to retribution.

How Does This Relate to Donald Trump?

So how is this relevant to the current political debate?  While many of you many agree on his views on a personal level, please consider what this would mean if the entire country adopted this view. Those who have not read Lord of the Flies, I would encourage you to do so.  In summary, it focuses on how following the majority can lead to deadly, and inhumanly consequences.

5 Reasons Not to Vote for Donald Trump

So, here are 5 Reasons NOT to vote for Trump even though you may think it funny (or so help me, “a good idea”), to do so:

  1. Deport 11 million illegal immigrants

You want to get rid of illegal immigrants invading your country and stealing your jobs?  On a personal level, sure – I can feel your frustration.  On a national level though, to properly rid your country of these illegal immigrants it is going to take you over 20 years and billions of dollars of tax payer dollars.  Yep, I said billions.

What’s a better plan?  Well, preventing illegal immigration in the first place would be a good start. Let’s see what Trump has planed for that….

2. Build a US/Mexican Border

Oh, a border!  Because a physical border will solve all our problems. Oh wait, nope.  Wrong again. This would cost the country… you guessed it…  billions of tax payer dollars!  Okay… so if we are SO simple minded to believe that a wall will solve all our problems, how do we get the money?

2. Increase tax on China

Oh yes – if the Mexicans won’t solve our problem, let’s turn to China. As the world’s largest export country, why shouldn’t we raise the cost for them?  Oh, I have an idea – maybe because they are the LARGEST EXPORT COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.  and….The US isn’t the only Country buying from them.

Not sure if you noticed but Canadian/Chinese relations were automatically strengthened when China recognized that Trudeau’s father was a great ally to the Chinese… turns out paying attention to cultural differences is an important strategy in politics… go figure!

3. Surveillance of Muslims

Okay so if we can’t tax the Chinese without significantly decreasing our low-cost goods (and yep that means the great deal you got on the gift for your wife on Amazon), why not get angry and kick out all the Muslims?

Turns out even Canadians were hesitant on accepting refugees after the Paris attacks. Instead of accepting all refugees though, Canada changed its policy to accept only families, women and children (no men travelling alone), as the security of the country was at utmost importance.

Trump’s strategy on the other hand, is to accept NO MUSLIMS, increase surveillance on current Muslims in the country, and to bomb ISIS aggressively.

This sounds like a pretty solid strategy with absolutely NO repercussions…. NOT.

4. Cut Taxes to Increase Spending

Trump thinks that if he decreases taxes, the general US population will increase US spending and the economy will bounce back. However, will his attack on ISIS and current immigrants, those who are wise will hold onto their money – possibly even withdrawing it from banks in case they need to flee the country (therefore having a negative impact on the US economy).

Who knew that creating a knee-jerk, fear-based society could have negative economic impact?

5. Kill Obamacare

I’m getting this right, once Trump is in, Obamacare is gone and everyone needs to pay for healthcare. If you do not, you are fined. His promises are vague and he seems to go with the majority on this… but again… what the heck are you voting for?

Trump wants to win.  He will say whatever he needs to in order to win. Please read and consider your vote seriously before making a decision.

 

 

 

 

Christmas before thanksgiving

Nordstrom is Wrong about Christmas

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In the US, Nordstrom has stated that it won’t be decorating for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, saying it “prefers to celebrate one holiday at a time”. This resulted in a fair amount of band-wagoners stating that Christmas celebrations come too early and we need to hold off on Christmas until other holidays are celebrated.

To this I say “BA-HUMBUG!”

More importantly, I say…. “why?”.  When I turn on the news in the morning I am inundated with terrible things happening in the world. Our day-to-day access to information in the world is more negative than positive simply because it sells better.

Good News vs. Bad News

While it may be hard to believe, the good to bad ratio of events in the world is NOT  80% bad and 10% good.  We only see it that way because that is what we are presented with. If these percentages were true, the world would not be a place I would want to live.

The good news is this simply isn’t true. The ratio of good to bad is only what we subject ourselves to.

I will say that again: The good news to bad news ratio in the world is dependent on what we subject ourselves to.

There are thousands – no, millions, of events happening every day in this world, and our reality is based upon what we hear and see.

The Christmas Celebration Debate

Back to the Nordstrom Christmas Celebration Topic:

If I am excited about Christmas, why shouldn’t I be able to celebrate Christmas at the same time I am celebrating Thanksgiving? It’s not as if I am forgetting to celebrate Thanksgiving and ONLY focusing on Christmas.  Can I not be grateful for all that I have, WHILE being surrounded by mistletoe and garlands?

While I understand the business reasons for decorating one holiday at a time, social media should not take this as a queue to withhold excitement for holidays simply because “it isn’t time yet”.

There is NO reason you should not be positive and excited about every holiday.  You won’t forget about Easter just because it’s Christmas time, just as you won’t forget about Thanksgiving just because Christmas is around the corner. Celebrate away, my happy, positive comrades.

So When Should We Celebrate Christmas?

In my opinion, you should celebrate Christmas ANYTIME YOU WANT TO! If February rolls around and you still have a tree up are you going to forget Valentines Day?  If your pumpkins are on the porch in October but your mistletoe is in the doorway of your kitchen will you overlook Halloween just because Christmas is so magnetic that it blanks your memory?!

Of course not.  If you get excited over a holiday you should celebrate that holiday with joy.  You should yell from the rooftops, make lists, and arrange get-togethers.  You should not hide your feelings or decorations simply because it “isn’t time yet”.

Personally, I will sing Christmas songs any time of the year.  I love any holiday, all holidays, and I won’t be told when to celebrate them. BA-HUMBUG.

Like my writing style?  Check out 101 Reasons Why it’s Great to Be Single, available on Amazon, and Barnes and Noble!