How to Move to Canada!

donald trump, Uncategorized

So you want to move to Canada, eh?

Is that because you refused to choose between an unlikable old frail corrupt woman and a misogynistic uneducated combatant jerk?

Or perhaps you protested by voting for an independent!

Either way – I have some hard truth for you, that you may not be ready for:


If you didn’t vote, or voted for anyone other than those that would lead to Hilary in the white house, the current situation (your president elect), is your own fault.

OUCH. Those italics really hit home, eh? (Side note: I don’t usually say “eh” as often as this, but it does seem fitting).


In all fairness, the fault may actually not lay on you, but on the person who typed out the ballots. After all, if they had labelled her “NOT Trump” instead of “Hillary Clinton” she probably would have have stood a chance.

Fact is, those that wanted Trump voted Trump and those that hated both of them didn’t vote.

Do you know what that means? Yep, you rested on your laurels thinking no way he would get elected and BOOM, shit happened. Woke up in Trumpland!

And important side note: Protesting??? Really???

We all know very few of you voted in the first place, so realizing now that you fucked up and storming the streets in anger on a weekday because you have no full-time job will really not do anything for your cause.


So anyways, here are ways you can move to Canada:

You might be eligible for Express Entry, which includes the following federal economic immigration programs:

In addition:

Take a language test (Fee approx $300CAD)

Canada’s official languages are English and French. You need to submit language test results for all programs under Express Entry, even if English or French is your first language.

You also need to achieve a minimum score on this test.

Moving to Canada is actually pretty difficult.  Not to mention our entire country is less than the size of California.

Instead, maybe just vote next time.






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